im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
