Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
