Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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