Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
