I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
