i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
