Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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