I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
