is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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