My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
