I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
