we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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