I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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