You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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