oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
