....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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