The maid of honor just puked.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
