miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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