She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
