Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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