Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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