If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize