Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
