I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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