gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
