I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
