Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
