I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
