Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
