You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
