no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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