just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
