Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You made out with two different species that night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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