He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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