After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
