she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
