I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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