Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
