He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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