I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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