my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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