Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
