Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
