my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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