It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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