She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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