I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
