Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
