is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
