Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
