He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
