we're blogging at a bar
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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