But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
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Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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