whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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