Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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